End of an Affair

Darling Simplenote,
God, yesterday was fantastic. I've never felt so alive as when you downloaded onto my devices and I saw your white unblemished surface.
All afternoon I just wrote, with nothing to distract. No silly fonts, no justifications, no fucking bullet points or spellcheck buttons. Just space. And the new words. And the word count, you slut. You let me use your word count. That was when I first considered leaving Evernote and moving you in with me for ever and ever.
That would be a big thing for me. My life has been Evernote's ever since we exchanged vows and went premium. You can't just move out with all your documents on a whim. But I was so enchanted with the way you just worked I was on the verge of taking the plunge.
But then I tried to store my words and the dream ended. On the iPad all you can do is send things by email. So I ran you over to Android and there, joy! you could send notes directly to...Evernote. So I found myself going crawling back and begging to file a note from another app. I lied fluently but I could tell she knew I had been typing away.
And then I discovered your guilty secret. On Android you don't have a word count.
So if I use you on the iPad, I can't send the notes anywhere except by email, and if I use you on Android I don't get the one thing I want. And the browser-based interface on my PC won't synchronise at all, for some reason that I can't be bothered to diagnose.
I won't be writing again. It was just a casual fling. I'm going back to Evernote. But I will always remember your perfect unmarked skin and your delicious word count.
Goodbye, darling.