How tech could help pay for our Museums

Our great museums and art galleries are free, unlike those of our money-grubbing, uncultured continental neighbours. Well, not actually free: they are paid for by us the taxpayer. So every British man, woman and child pays about a tenner every year for institutions most enter once in their lives but every day are thronged with foreign tourists who pay nothing.

Every so often someone says we ought to charge but us middle-class culture vultures like to pop into the National Gallery or the British Museum every so often and really, really hate the idea of having to pay so we kick up a fuss every time a Tory government tries to make us pony up. 

So how's this for an idea?

Museums should accept two types of admission ticket, a contactless paper ticket and an electronic ticket carried on a smartphone with contactless payment built-in.

The paper tickets would be purchased by tourists and would be valid just for the day. The smartphone app would be available only to British citizens and would allow free access to all our museums.

The new development that makes this a feasible proposition is fingerprint recognition, now available on both iPhone and Android. This is important because otherwise tour operators could offer to buy phones from oiks who never go to museums and issue them to coach parties, effectively getting free admission. Fingerprint recognition would mean that only the person who bought the ticket can get in.

The technology is now robust enough (are criminals really going to go to the trouble of cloning fingerprints just to get free admission to Tate Modern?), speedy enough (no queues at the ticket desk) and cheap enough to be practical. The technology is not on all smartphones yet, but will be soon.

And we could get the tourists to pay for our museums, just as the do on the Continent. 

A Little Triumph for Microsoft (at Apple's expense)

Once the rage and frustration of discovering Apple's complete disregard for non-American customers in providing only a US layout keyboard had died down, I took another look at my Microsoft Universal Keyboard thinking that as I was going to be stuck with it for an indefinite period I might as well properly understand how it works.

So I RTFM. It's only a short leaflet really, but I learned a few really nice things.

Firstly, the lid, which is also a support for the tablet, detaches so you can put it in a more comfortable position. It snaps back on magnetically. Why had I not realised that before? What a dimwit.

Next, I discovered you can remove or reinstate the onscreen keyboard with Fn+Alt. As the iPad has a horrid propensity to bring up the onscreen keyboard even when the physical keyboard is connected, this is very handy. Also, when I pick the tablet out of the stand to hold it in my hands when reading stuff, I can easily bring up the onscreen keyboard to enter search terms and stuff.

And I also discovered (finally!) that the MS keyboard flashes red when the battery is low, removing the charging anxiety I was prone to.

Who knew all this valuable info would be hidden in a simple manual? Well I never.

Anyhoo, the outcomes are:

1)  I now have an excellent keyboard with British keys that works perfectly.

2)  My considerable admiration for Microsoft's hardware designers has gone up a notch.

3)  I have saved 130 sovs and Apple has lost a sale.

Poison Apple

I got my iPad Pro last Thursday after a very long phone call with an affable Irishman on the morning it finally hit the online shop. It is very good, thank you very much. Fast, a very clear screen, lots of space to see stuff, and multitasking is a joy.
But...I was really looking forward to the Smart Keyboard. It looks really well thought through. Using physical pogo pins to connect instead of Bluetooth means it knows when you are holding it in your hands and when you have it sitting in the keyboard, so it can pop the onscreen keyboard up as appropriate instead of forcing you to faff about retrieving the keyboard from the desk every time you want to enter a URL or something. And it does without the trackpad, something I abhor.
Now I discover that the Smart Keyboard is only available in the US layout.
WHAT? No £ key? @ and " keys in the wrong places, a real bummer for touch typists like me.
I have cancelled the fucking order.
As it happens, the Microsoft Universal Keyboard is doing a great job - the iPad Pro handles Bluetooth much better than the horrible Acer thing, so firing up the keyboard when I need it takes just a moment.
But I am still hacked off.
The Apple rep said I could buy the Logitech thing they have on the website, but it has a protective case that holds the tablet so tightly getting the bloody thing off is a major faff.
Bloody Apple. Is a UK layout keyboard beyond you?

Taking the Tablets

Ever since the screen disaster with my iPad I have been making do with an Acer Iconia One 7 that I picked up in Staples a while back as a machine for testing Android apps on. I only paid a ton for it but it still wasn't really worth it - slow, crashes a lot and a screen that shows every fingermark.
But the pain of using it for actual work was something far worse. When paired with the very clever Microsoft Universal Bluetooth Keyboard it resolutely refuses to get all the keys right, notably the cursor arrow keys that act so bizarrely I have to make an effort to remember how they work every bloody time I use them.
Then the stupid machine began to switch Bluetooth off at random and it was all too much. I headed for Tesco intending to buy a Hudl 2, which is a perfectly decent and cheap machine that would tide me over until November when the iPad Pro arrives.
However, I spotted a nice little Asus Memo Pad 7 on the shelf at just £60, a snip I thought. The guy behind the electrical desk said it ran Jelly Bean but would be upgraded on demand to Wowwypop so I thought fair enough, pushed my card into the slot and took it away.
And indeed it was as the man saith. I pressed the update button and Lollipop came over sweet as a nut. Thank you, Asus.
And Bluetooth seems solid and, best of all, the keys on the keyboard now do exactly what I expect them to do.
There is only one fly in the ointment. OF COURSE THERE IS A FLY. LOOK AT THE BLOG'S MASTHEAD. IT'S THE LAW.
The Memo Pad is a bit chunky and won't fit in the slot in the keyboard. It is nearly vertical, so I have to prop it up with a book to get the right angle. Not stylish or cool. A small point, but bugger it just the same.

PS The keyboard that comes with the iPad Pro is connected to it not by Bluetooth but by a line of pogo pins or similar. This means that when you remove the tablet to hold it in your hand to read a document or watch a video, it automatically reverts to the onscreen keyboard so when you want to type in a search term or something you don't have to fish about for the Bluetooth keyboard and use that because it is still connected. Another little triumph for Apple physical design, bless them.

Thank you, Tim

And it comes with a super-thin keyboard. Oh yes.
The only fly in the ointment is it won't be arriving until November.

Come on Tim, gimme a new iPad

Since the great iPad disaster I have been working on my reserve emergency backup tablet, an Acer Iconia One 7, and I'm not having an entirely happy time.
I bought it because I needed something running Android at a moment when I had a Windows phone (I've sobered up and am back on Android with the rather fab Moto G 3rd generation). It was on sale at Staples and was a good deal.
Great for testing apps. For work, not so good. The screen is too small. It is frustratingly slow. The touch screen isn't sensitive enough. The hardware can't run Lollipop.
And now it is developing horrible little habits like trying to log on to the wrong wifi signals and randomly switching Bluetooth off, so I have to restart it before I can use the keyboard. I am starting to hate it.
Which is why I want a new tablet now. And the fabled iPad Pro with its monster screen sounds like just the job.
Go on Tim. Gimme a new iPad this afternoon. I need it. I deserve it. And if I don't get it, I will buy a Lenovo so help me God.

Bugger

Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger